Jayson Blair

I am an introvert. This always surprises people. I have been called outgoing, charming and the life of the party. These things might be true, and while people have noticed that I like to get my social interaction in short bursts - coffee for an hour, short visits to holiday parties and quick conversations - they still have a hard time understanding why I consider myself an introvert. Simply put, I get my strength from within, and while external validation can be nice, its not nearly as important as constantly reconciling how I feel about myself. I have always strived for what Ralph Waldo Emerson strives for in his essay "Self-Reliance." I have to give credit to a good friend for pointing out my modus operandi, one that is only consistent in the since that I require a balance of others and myself. "It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion," she read to me from "Self-Reliance," as she sat in a wooden rocking chair one night several years...

Traveling to classrooms at colleges and universities to talk about ethics, deception, substance abuse, mental health and a variety of other topics, has a redemptive quality for me. But as satisfying as it is to help see good come from my mistakes in the form of lessons learned, it has always been the human story that has captured me. As I give of myself, others give their stories back to me, enlightening me, expanding my base of knowledge, transforming me. These stories are all around us on a daily basis. Sharing can make it easier for others to share with you, but the key to formula here is as simple as can be, and involves nothing more than actually listening as opposed to merely hearing. I have learned that many people have stories that are similar to my own. The main difference is that my fall from grace and redemption play out on a large, public stage. For most, these are stories are only known to their families and friends, and, in some cases, stories that they carry alone, quie...

For reasons that are obvious, I had been asked to speak about deception. I had been recruited for the job because of the lies I told and, interestingly, because the sponsors of the seminar realized that I had spent a lifetime – in both journalism and my mental health work now – needing to understand the motives of those working with me and identifying when individuals were lying. I declined the opportunity to help teach them how to better lie, which law enforcement officers can do in some circumstances with suspects, because I knew it just was not good karma for me to get involved in the making of better liars. After going over the spectrum I’ve found for people’s motives - why they lie and why they tell the truth – I received an interesting question from a member of that group that had been assembled. One of the participants asked whether it was easier or harder for me to do my job when people were lying. I paused and thought about his question. The answer was clear as it was seemingl...

Sitting in a car in a Virginia university town today, a young friend told me the story of her first boyfriend, a 9-year-old boy from summer camp. I can't say how the conversation started - you never can with her - but its worth pointing out that I've known her for nine months and I never heard her talk fondly and in a detailed way about boys. I think her segway was something about a boyfriend she had for a month in high school because she "wanted to know what the big deal was with this whole dating thing," or maybe we were talking about whether if all things come from God whether bad things were apart of his design, or patches in The Sims life-simulation computer game that allows men to become pregnant or pharmacists who refuse to dispense the Plan B pill or philosophy or something. I really don't know how we got there, but I do know that while she is no man-hater, my friend is generally and blithely and genuinely apathetic compared to many the boy crazed girls he...

I confess. In a life filled with confessions, here's another one. I have a crush. A Starbucks crush. I think most of you know what I'm talking about. And if you have to ask, well. It was 180-millimeters of heaven. And I was blessed to just have one. Its something about the foam, proportions, the steam and, well, she could tell you. I just know - its better than any I've tasted. My Starbucks crush actually started with what had to be the tastiest combination of espresso, hot milk and steamed-milk form ever created. The drink was really wonderful, and, really, if I hated her, I would still go back for another and another and another and another. The crush continued in earnest when I started pointing out to what good drink she gave and her colleagues began to catch on to my infatuation with her bar skills when I would wait and let other customers get ahead of me so I could be sure she would be making my drink. A couple of times when she wasn't there after that first Tall C...

Detective Robert Goren said it to Nichole Wallace on Law & Order: Criminal Intent . Sara Sidle said a version of it Gil Grissom on C.S.I. And Herman Meville probably would have said it to Sigmund Freud. "Sometimes, a whale is just a whale." I am as big a fan as anyone of tough regulation of pharmaceutical companies, but it seems in recent months that the Food and Drug Administration has continue the drive off the cliff of logic that they leap a few weeks back and have landed in the gorge of patient destruction - at least when it comes to mental health medications. In May 2007, the F.D.A. ordered a "black box warning" be placed on the packaging of all antidepressants to warn people of an increased risk of suicide related to the medications. Earlier this year, the F.D.A. reversed itself and ordered a "black box warning" be placed on anticonvulants, including those used to treat depression and mania in bipolar disorder and mood swings in other psychiatr...

The “Perfect” Coach For Your Boy* Maggie Avedisian, Ph.D. Clinical Child Psychologist This is the first post in a series of guest contributions on coaching children by Dr. Maggie Avedisian sees adults, couples, children and adolescents as a psychologist in private practice at Ashburn Psychological Services . With doctorate and post-doctorate specializations in both clinical and developmental ps ychology, Dr. Avedisian is also the proud mom of two athletic superstars. She can be reached at (703) 723-2999 or by email . As each Fall athletic season begins and boys are recruited into (or placed onto) various school and county leagues, my voicemail and e-mail Inbox receive an inevitab le bombardment of concerns fr om pare nts about the “best coach.” Parents often have the same concern season-upon-season: “My sons’ coach is mean and I don’t think he can succeed with someone mean;” “His self-esteem is being harmed ;” and of course, “What should we do?” I rarely hear fro...