Jayson Blair

I confess. In a life filled with confessions, here's another one. I have a crush. A Starbucks crush. I think most of you know what I'm talking about. And if you have to ask, well. It was 180-millimeters of heaven. And I was blessed to just have one. Its something about the foam, proportions, the steam and, well, she could tell you. I just know - its better than any I've tasted. My Starbucks crush actually started with what had to be the tastiest combination of espresso, hot milk and steamed-milk form ever created. The drink was really wonderful, and, really, if I hated her, I would still go back for another and another and another and another. The crush continued in earnest when I started pointing out to what good drink she gave and her colleagues began to catch on to my infatuation with her bar skills when I would wait and let other customers get ahead of me so I could be sure she would be making my drink. A couple of times when she wasn't there after that first Tall C...

I tripped across a recent newspaper column in The New York Times that ran under the headline "When Parents Say 'I Love You,' Means 'Do as I Say.' " It made me think of three young adult clients whose parents have struggled with setting up systems of rewards and punishments that were balanced with the notion of helping their children stay safe, improve their judg ment, develop and mature, become independent and take ownership over the choices they make in their lives. The piece was one of those that just seemed destined to be brilliant in its contrainism. In reality, it ended up only being contrary. The logic of the piece went a little like this: (a) unconditional lo ve is a good thing; (b) so me parents put conditions on attention and affection; (c) ther efore, conditions and unconditional love could not co-exist; (d) therefore systems of punishments left children feeling resentful and anxious, and (e) negative reinforcement systems left children feeling...

My friend and colleague, Dr. Maggie Avedisian, a clinical psychologist, recently asked for some thoughts on what makes a good athletic coach. Since I work with a number of teenagers, I gave Dr. Avedisian this advice for a blog article she's writing for parents on identifying good coaches and for athletic coaches on how to improve their work with their students: A good coach should recognize that winning is not everything and that the process of trying is where young people develop, build their self-confidence, recognize their talents and learn to cope with their weaknesses. Coaching is a process of teaching skills, helping people develop intuition and self-awareness and building character. Coaches should seek to understand and motivate their players. In a one-on-one setting this is easier to do, but in a group setting coaches can teach people to lead and should help their players coach each other. The best coach teaches life skills along with sports skills. Motivating b...